


Wants and needs

by Thosesweetninjas



Category: Naruto
Genre: Chuunin Exams, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-24 19:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20913203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thosesweetninjas/pseuds/Thosesweetninjas
Summary: There’s a deep ache in his chest, maybe from the ribs that may have bruised or his own heart needing, wanting, yearning, he wants.. He wants… He can’t have… But he needs… He needs but he can’t have.





	Wants and needs

**Author's Note:**

> I was just thinking about the Chuunin exams and what was going on in Gaara's head, so here.   
I'm no expert on his character/any character but this was fun to write.   
I had a backlog of fics that I just had to adjust slightly apparently.

For the first time in the 12 years he has lived Gaara experiences pain, physical pain. The chuunin exams were going to be a breeze, the same old same old. No one has even been able to touch Gaara without dying, it’s not like his siblings would dare. Siblings has such a cold detached view for him, he doesn’t consider them to be anything towards his, just there in the background, tied to him out of formality. 

It’s a surprise when Rock Lee, he won’t forget his name now, when Lee gets through the sand barrier for the first time, his eyes widen, heart pounding in his chest. The adrenaline running through his veins. Lee strikes again, Gaara can barely keep up with the seemingly supernatural speed. Lee keeps attacking from different directions not making contact yet, he disappears for a second longer than he has been and then Gaara is looking at the ground, something blooming from his cheek… it feels warm, it stings. 

Gaara looks up at Lee, the blood trickling down his cheek, he grins - he’s heard people describe it as maniacal, savage, feral - the feeling, is that what pain feels like. Gaara knows emotional pain but the sand has stopped any physical harm coming to him, unfortunately he couldn’t wrap his sand armour around his heart.

Each strike Lee makes, he can feel the air hitting his cheek, mere centimetres between them

Lee assumes his stance, his fingers beckoning him forward.

Lee lands a punch, the contact warm against his cheek, the pain comes straight after it feels warm to the touch, it’s most likely going to bruise if it wasn’t for the sand armour. Gaara is knocked to the ground, the sand armour covers his body, the scratches Lee caused heal instantly.

Gaara is having fun, that’s what he thinks this giddy feeling is, for the first time he thinks he could laugh, like he could leave the monstrousness behind because this is fun, he’s moving, everyone else he’s fought has met their end fairly quickly but Rock Lee, he’s fast, he’s challenging. 

Lee is literally running circles around him. He needs to just get on with it and voices so. This new feeling of pain blooms from his neck, a well aimed kick to his chin. More kicks strike and more pain blossoms, Gaara brings his hands up to block his face from the brunt of the kicks, he’s never had to do this before, his arms ache from being struck. 

Lee is pushing him further and further into the air, the breath is knocked out of him when a kick lands on his stomach. His sand armour is chipping off, cracking - like he might be on the inside. He hasn’t used sand clones too much before but this is a fitting use for them.

Gaara is on his back, he’s feeling more pain. Shukaku seems to be leaching the pain from his, or maybe it’s his stores of chakra. He’s exhaling in rushes, makes a closed fist to stop this battle, to overcome the strongest opponent he’s faced yet. 

Gai jumps down at this point, the furrow of his eyebrows when he looks at him makes Gaara think... his father, his siblings have made that face before.

Gaara is disappointed, he wanted to have the satisfaction of defeating this opponent, and it’s been robbed from him. The fact that his teacher spills tears over Lee even though Gaara is victorious perturbeds him. 

Gai says caring things about Lee, Gaara doesn’t understand, this grown man cries for his subordinate, in fear? In shame? For… love? Gaara doesn’t understand it. He almost doesn’t want to understand it, this won’t matter to him, he who hasn’t had someone care about him that much since… No he won’t think that way.

He teleports back to the stands where Temari and Baki are, he’s looking at the ground, there’s a deep ache in his chest, maybe from the ribs that may have bruised or his own heart needing, wanting, yearning, he wants.. He wants… He can’t have… But he needs… He needs but he can’t have.

Temari says something, Gaara doesn’t hear it. Shukaku is making too much noise in the back of his head, gleeful in the hurt and pain he has caused even if it’s Gaara's own. His eyes sting, his body hurts, it dulls, it numbs. He has no interest in this he needs the satisfaction, he needs the glee, the adrenaline, the thrill of the hunt.

He’s so frustrated, he’s never been denied the kill, only sometimes at the behest of his siblings, but the ones who run don’t make it very far, his sand stretches as far as they do.

And yet he walked away, Gai’s tears and visible warm emotions for Lee, it’s all too much. He returns to his position next to Temari and Baki for no other reason than it’s his place, Temari’s smug smile as Gaara is victorious doesn’t make him feel any different.


End file.
